Already a few weeks into the new year and we have touched on a thought changing, if not life changing, topic. The topic we’ve already touched on. Most couples talk about it within the first few dates. Or, they will at least hint at the topic. As much to my surprise, the topic of children, yes offspring, flew out of the hat and onto our laps. Granted, we pulled several slips out but they seemed to have been topics we have already covered extensively.
As much time as I give it, the thought of kids is a tough one. This paragraph has been written a week after the last and two weeks since our last courtship session. It’s a tough topic! And right now is a difficult time for each of us. I’m working every day and with her watching her cousin, working, and sending in applications, she is busy too. Between a difficult topic and tough times we are between a rock and a hard place.
We make everything work. Earlier this week we met up at Alderwood and watched a movie. It was nice to get our minds off everything and just spend some time together. We make sure to call and text repeatedly. We have also video chatted once last week. I have a feeling that it wasn’t just a difficult conversation about kids that has pushed everything off, but our ability to spend time together. We want to see each other, but there are only so many hours in the week.
That may be a concept that I had been missing in our talks. If we had kids, we couldn’t be selfish about the time we would spend together. I feel like our foundation is laid and we are planning on putting up walls to our relationship (I.e. who to let in and who to keep out). Having kids is an auto include. I can’t help but be on the fence if I’m being honest. I want to spend time with her and, me being selfish, don’t always want to share.
I would love to share! Yup, I’m a hypocrite. If I love her this much, then having another would be great! I’d hope that they would get their mother’s brains and my cynicism. I would love to show them the world. I could get them curious about all sorts of things. We could go on adventures, explore ideas, and have a world of fun. See how easy it is to tip on one side of the fence or the other?
Whatever God chooses for us, we will be ready or we will learn. I hope I’m long around enough to see the decision through. So, to my favorite that someday may be replaced, I love you. Thank you for exploring these difficult topics with me. Thank you for taking each day as they come. I know we will get through the busy schedules. As for tonight, we’ll just make a salad.
Intentional Vulnerability 